How to Relax

Soft and pliable like a cat that is the ideal of a tai chi practitioner. As a martial art it makes sense that you can then move faster and are less likely to get hit hard.

But how to attain this softness? How to relax?

People tend to develop areas of static, unnecessary and unproductive tension. Tension means holding. Relaxing means letting go. To be able to hold on is obviously valuable in life. The problem is if it becomes unconscious and permanent, robbing you of energy, making you stiff and unable to move freely. You must then become conscious of the way you are holding your body and get your energy moving again.

​There are a number of techniques to soften the hard energy-blocks:

1. Breathe in consciously and deep in your stomach. It gives you an inner massage, fills you up, and then you consciously let go when you breathe out and empty yourself. Do it a few times, as you did before your exams started.

2. Do a long, slow stretch of the body and its parts, the way you would do it in yoga. Stay in the position for a while, breathe consciously and be calm. Unless you can rest in the position it will not do the job.

3. Gently massage the tense spots and use your caring hands for healing yourself. Others can do the same to you - if you can open up and receive. Running a small bamboo-stick over body parts can increase your awareness and sensitivity

4. Make peace with gravity: let your shoulders sink, appreciate the support from the ground under your feet, or under your behind when you sit, lie flat ready to sink into the ground. Allow yourself to feel absolutely tired sometimes. Gravity is holding you so you don't drift away.

5. Do some exercise of soft motions, like tai chi or dancing, to get the energy moving.

6. Do some exercise of forceful motions, again to get the energy moving. Boxing, running, working out. Allow yourself to get exhausted. Then it will be easier to let go of built up tensions.

7. A method used in yoga is to mentally "rub out" the body, part by part. A way to let go of the body and thus the tensions.

8. Consciously contract your muscles and then relax. To teach you that you are the captain, you are the one ordering the muscles to stay tense, and you are the one who can order them to relax.

9. If you tell yourself that it will be very difficult to relax, then it may be true. On the other hand, if you use visualization to imagine success - the way athletes do it to improve their performance - success may come true. Positive imagination can make you understand what it is you have got to do, it is a kind of "learning" that helps you to actually do it. And to become aware of what you have been doing and then stop it, seems a much easier task than to jump very high for instance.

The word conscious has been used a few times, and it seems clear that the mind is important here. You have to acknowledge a problem, you have to watch what you are doing, you have to get conscious control of yourself and decide to do something to change what has become stuck.